#Unseen-Writers
#The-Poetry-Cafe
#Poetry-of-Feelings
#Amateur-Writing
#Writing-4-life
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Deviousness `anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
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Sta.sh
I think this is a very minimalistic, effective poem about shadows and darkness.
However, there are a few things I'd like to point out: Is the first line ("My Mind like a Shadow") meant to be part of the poem? Also, in the forth line ("Ignored and forgotten"), I felt that the effectiveness of having the opposites in the third line ("Visible and not"), was lessened. It may have been better to sustain the ambiguous nature of the shadow. The line that states "Building, one darkness on another" seems a little unnecessary to me because it sticks out and is already reiterated by the word "Growing" in the next line. The last line of that stanza ("Until it overwhelms") is a nice climax. But the very last line ("There's a reason we're scared of the dark") sort of disturbs the poetic nature you established and feels a little too prose-like to me.
However, this is just my opinion and I am not a very experienced writer so it may not be well-informed.
Overall, it is a short and fine piece of poetry. Have you thought about joining "myWritersCircle" [link] ?
Thank you very much
Good luck in all your writing endeavours.
^_*
The points you make are valid, I see where you are coming from and I will take them into consideration as I try to write more poetry. However, I don't often think about my poems much, I just kinda write whatever comes out (from the heart) and I don't usually edit. So I hope thinking about it and things like what you've mentioned comes more naturally to me soon.
I have never heard of that site, by the way, so thanks! I'll check it out when I get a chance.
You said you're not a very experienced writer... but you're still a writer, so good luck to you too! Feel free to message me if you want to discuss any work or anything; I'm always in the mood to talk writing.
P.S. Thanks for the watch!!
Haha, for me, poetry is so airy-fairy that it's hard for me to tell if I'm doing a good job.
Ah, thank you.
Of course I'll talk to you about writing! I mean, that's what people like us are here for! ^_*
I can never tell if I'm doing a good job either... just, don't worry about it, because it's unique, and it's you, so let it show you. Not everyone is going to like it, but someone will... be yourself... besides, a good job can be a matter of opinion.
ad yeah, it is what we're here for xD Feel free to note me any time!
Sure thing! You can note me whenever as well (though it might take a while for me to reply because I don't use the computer that frequently or regularly)! ^_*