[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Ashes on the SandWe put you in
a crystal box
small enough for me
to hold in my
hands
(and that thought gives me
chill bumps)
The tide was high
where we took you
and I remember thinking
how pointless it was
(you were just going to wash
up on the shore)
Everyone was quiet
and some people cried
and as you were tossed
out to sea like so
many grains of sand
I thought how much
I missed you
(Now I think how much
I hate you
for leaving)

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn

Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school

Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory

weight of the worldand suddenly--
it was like the world decided that
it didn't want to carry its burden any longer,
so it shifted the weight
into the hollows of my bones
and told me that
it was my problem now.

UntitledThere is a loneliness that can
come to subsistence in man
deeper than the great
submarine sinkhole of Belize;

a crawling phthalo blue sadness
stolen off of a Picasso palette
of familiar numbing pains.

I recall having heard them
as they bid adieu- to me,
another newly extinct species;

some of us are meant for doom
like stellar sea cows, with only
our skeletal frames remaining.

Our squeaks muted all too soon
in the darkness of the shade.

So it goes: life can drag
a few of us blow by blow,
skewing our limbs and broiling
our skins by very heavy venom.

You Are BlindYou see a picture.
A girl with a smile on her face.

She looks beautiful.
She wasn't going anyway fancy.
But she wore her black make up.
And her brand new top.

But that isn't what I see...

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the tears that have just been wiped away?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her right fist clenched,
Fumbling for her over strap bag?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the left hand grip her long sleeve for dear life?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her mind is running with thoughts tonight?

Look a little closer...
And maybe you'd have seen the warning signs....

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I Still Love You (revised)I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I can only try
But it hurts when you get angry
And you don't explain why

You look at me in tears
N' sometimes you almost shout
The frustration you bring upon me
N' the anger you bring out

I'm mad because I care
I want nothing more than to see you smile
I just want to help
And believe me
I'll be here a while

When you cry
My eyes tear at the seams
When you're sad
Rain clouds haunt my dreams

But when you laugh or smile
My lips curl up too
You still make me so happy
I only wish I could express
How much I love you.

We all make mistakes
We all do things we don't mean
And I forgave you bef

I Still Love YouI'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I can only try
But it hurts when you get angry
And you don't say why

You look at me in tears
Sometimes you almost shout
The frustration you bring upon me
The anger you bring out

I'm mad because I care
I want nothing more than to see you smile
I just want to help
And believe me
I'll be here a while

When you cry
My eyes tear at the seams
When you're sad
Rain clouds haunt my dreams

But when you laugh or smile
My lips curl up too
You still just make me so happy, I only wish I could express
How much I still love you.

WithinA smile,
A laugh,
A hug.
A façade.

Within

A broken world,
A civil war,
A shattered soul,
Of its own destruction.

But further within

A full heart,
A true smile,
A happy me.
Waiting to shine.

Nightmares and fears. Part 3I wake up
In a battle with my own mind
Trying to cling to the good
The happy
Trying to assure myself
There is something good in me
But of course it's buried
Too deep.

Left with the pain of my nightmare
I wipe the tears from my eyes
But I can't wipe away the fear
Of myself.
Some say I'm strong.
I'll take whatever comes my way,
And stand to support those I care about.
I'll take anything thrown at me,
But I'm not strong;
Don't mistake me for strong,
Cause I can't even stand against myself.

The only salvation I have
Is the reminder of the one
Who made me who I am
And first saved me from all this pain.

Nightmares and fears. Part 2I opened my eyes
To see a former self
Screaming in the space we stood
"go to hell!" "I hate you!"
But there was no one else there.
A reminder
Of what I used to be
A painful reminder
Of darker days.

He fades away and I take a step back
Only to find myself in a pool of blood
My own
I look at my reflection
And watch it rise
Until another me stands there
And screams
Silently
He drives me back
Pure hatred in his eyes
Until I stumble to the ground
And he was gone
But he left his mark.
Scars on my wrists and tears on my face.

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Submitted: June 11, 2012
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Loving You

by *AutumnNight714, Jun 11, 2012, 7:50:08 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Shining bright the stars look down
City lights in the distance
Nature's beauty up close
A cool night with a warm breeze
Brushing us as we kiss.
Your head on my shoulder
A beautiful face in the moonlight

Long our journey has been
And longer it will be
But through thick and thin
We both are there
To come back together
On this night

We've aged and we've grown
Since we first came together
We've loved and we've fought
We've struggled and we've glided
But after all this time
We find ourselves together again
Where some may grow apart
We seem to grow closer

A bumpy road
Of mixed emotions and feelings
For one another and for others
Lays behind us
And in the end
The friendship is only stronger
A tighter bond
A better romance

The future may be unclear
The past may haunt us here and there
But I am here
For you
And I'm making the best of our time together
Are you too?

Loving Youby *AutumnNight714

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Just typed this up, kinda came to me as I wrote it, that first line is all I had to start with.
I just got back together with my ex today.

Hope everyone likes.

~irrenderNarr42 Jun 11, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

this is good, and it's good that you two are together again

*AutumnNight714 Jun 12, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thanks

~irrenderNarr42 Jun 12, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

!debidebdebdeb Jun 11, 2012

I don't know how you do it. Really. I am amazed. You have an ego, but you are also very humble. If everyone here had any idea how much of the literature category here is yours, they would be blown away. I crave the day you come out of the closet and claim all your work. Not only that, the volume,and speed that you can put high quality stuff out.
I am very,very proud of you.And it's not just the Literature. You do everything. And do it well.If it was all under your name..............I would like to interview you, to do your coming out interview.

*AutumnNight714 Jun 11, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Wow, thank you so, so much. Honestly I do not think I have much of an ego, if you read some of my other non love related poetry I used to really HATE myself, but i'm working on it (I didn't mean to come across harsh or anything, I just try not to have an ego and be full of myself). If I may, what do you mean by claiming my work and putting it under my name? It is all on this profile only and my name is on the profile... I am interested in becoming a well known author but more for my novels and fiction/fantasy book ideas. Poetry is more of a hobbie, but if you believe I can actually get some of these flukes published, please say more!

I really can't thank you enough for being so kind. Um, in case you hadn't seen on my profile, I am only fifteen, so I don't know about "coming out" or being well known, yet, but uhh... I don't know. I'm just shy.

!debidebdebdeb Jun 11, 2012

you will be there for me tonight?

*AutumnNight714 Jun 11, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

umm, well I don't really know you, but if you read the description on my "There For You" poem, yeah I'm here if anyone needs to talk or needs help with stuff going on... this poem was directed more for my girlfriend but sureeeee >_>

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