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Alone,
Shaking calmly in a cold sweat,
Cross legged on bed, head in hands,
A stuttered breath:
“Stop”

Nails begin scraping flesh and bone,
Hair tearing to get at the thoughts,
Biting lip to bear the pain, and stop the tears,
Yet a part wants it to continue,
Wants it to grow,
To consume,
Until there’s nothing left.

In the dark sat in utter loathe,
Blood stained vanity and silent screams,
Tearing mind from inside out,
Until it shows upon flesh.

Breaking words only to self,
No desire to burden others,
Facing it alone,
Or at least,
Trying.

Apologies to all of caring heart,
Inner conflict never a quick war,
Peace though found in your comfort,
Great peace, and happiness,
A resolution only found in self,
And until it is and mind settled,
Nights of terror and pain will sadly occur.
Apologies.
Some of the words I used have several meanings or definitions, and I may have gone for one not as common so I ask you to look up a few if the meaning isn't really clear. I can't remember all but one clear example is "vanity" (right in the title) I'm not using the "high self regard" definition, but more of the "worthless, or of little worth" meaning. Which may not make a ton of sense but I'm kinda trying to say I don't really like myself. Haha I just got all confusing, I apologize.
Hope you like it, but keep in mind, I'm not actually that bad anymore, it comes and goes but this was written more off a slight remembrance of what it was.
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:iconthatdamham:
ThatDamHam Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
GREAT POEM MOIKE :D
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:iconautumnnight714:
AutumnNight714 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you Joe, you creeper. :p
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:iconthatdamham:
ThatDamHam Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
YOU'RE WELCOME :crazy: :iconcrazylaughplz:
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:iconbleachingliliesblack:
BleachingLiliesBlack Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i love the raw emotion, great job mike! :)
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:iconautumnnight714:
AutumnNight714 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks Claire! (:
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:iconbleachingliliesblack:
BleachingLiliesBlack Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:) no problem! :iconbatglompplz:
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:iconirrendernarr42:
irrenderNarr42 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
hmm...how about you replace "great peace" in the last stanza with some other expression? like content or serenity? haveing "peace" doubled so shortly after another kinda breaks the rythm. you know what i mean?
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:iconautumnnight714:
AutumnNight714 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
Yeah that was the point, it was like an extra thought, a moment of pause, sort of emphasis. I see what you mean though
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:iconirrendernarr42:
irrenderNarr42 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you proposed on a double step?
hmm okay then...
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:iconautumnnight714:
AutumnNight714 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
well it's not in any "rythm" it's free verse, it's how it just comes out. I don't know. I'm not real worried about being perfect, I'm not a poet haha thanks though
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:iconirrendernarr42:
irrenderNarr42 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
well even in free verse there is a flow to it.
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:iconautumnnight714:
AutumnNight714 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
Yeah, but there doesn't really -Have- to be. None of my other poems really do haha
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:iconirrendernarr42:
irrenderNarr42 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
nah i wouldnt say that
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:iconautumnnight714:
AutumnNight714 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
Why not? we're well into/past the age of romanticism. Free form writing has been around for centuries. Doesn't need a flow, doesn't need a rythm, in fact many believe that those can limit and restrict full emotion and feelings in poetry because you're restrained to get the rythm and can't freely express how you want. That's why it's called Free Form. Those that try for rythm but don't follow conventional styles would be Organic Form. Which is more natural but still rythmic or flowing. I chose to write in Free Form, where there're no such limitations.
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(1 Reply)
:icondesert-druid:
desert-druid Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I like the strong emotion in this.
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:iconautumnnight714:
AutumnNight714 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you
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:iconeredev:
Eredev Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
It’s chilling and sad, but at the same time beautiful :)

(I like the word “vanity” for the sound it makes.)

It’s sometimes fun to write about the past, more about memories then reality.
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:iconautumnnight714:
AutumnNight714 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you(:
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:iconeredev:
Eredev Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
You're welcome :)
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